3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
