So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
So squirting runs in the family.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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