why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize