Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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