I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
