And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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