i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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