um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
