Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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