Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
