i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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