I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
