After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We are all done wearing pants today
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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