had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
smell my finger.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
