i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
