you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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