So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
