Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just want nice things and good sex
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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