you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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