Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
