But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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