Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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