The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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