Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
