Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
