Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
