can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
