We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
