Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
