Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
