i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
