Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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