P.S. I can't hear my feet
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
