I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
