it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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