He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
