dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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