How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
