He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
