you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
