I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
