Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
