An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
