i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I wish you could order shots online.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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