it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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