how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
don't judge my taste in strippers
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
