Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
