And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize