And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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