dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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