im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
