you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
