Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
