how hairy? two words: wookie tits
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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