i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
