dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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