I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
be right there i have to get my cape
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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