how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
