Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
