I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
