i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
