You're completely useless in the revolution.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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