11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
