Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize