She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
