Having a random hookup so left but love u
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
